Whatever happened to Texas Hold 'Em?
Remember when it was wildly popular and sports networks were constantly airing reruns of old poker world championship tournaments (cause poker is a sport, you know)?
People were always playing little friendly games on their kitchen tables, which week by week progressed into larger, less-friendly games until some guy got shot and the police found out the wife was running a high-dollar brothel upstairs to accompany the husband's poker den. The whole thing was a bit incestuous, too, because the hookers were just the wives of the poker players, and the poker players were the only johns (or punters, in the case of those two British guys). It was more like an expensive swingers party, with a card table.
That's how it went down at my house, anyway, I mean, at my friend's house. No, I mean, I heard about a house like that, but I didn't know those people.
Actually I think the game is still poking along just fine, except that I don't have cable TV and don't play in the neighborhood games anymore. So it's pretty much out of my life.
Even the little handheld electronic game I used to play on the crapper is dead. Probably just the battery, but it's one of those special batteries you can't buy just anywhere.
Same thing for church-league and industrial-league softball. I used to know a lot of adults who played in softball leagues in the town where I grew up, but now I don't know any. Maybe I'm just not hanging out with the right people. Or maybe this town has an anti-softball bias -- danged yuppie-fied tennis town is what this is.
I'd like to play some poker again -- but less expensive than the games I know of, and without my wife whoring herself out to the other players upstairs. Also, softball would be fun. Or basketball. It's easier to get a group of people together for basketball, because you don't need as many players. But then you've got to get access to a basketball court somewhere.
And how about cow-tipping? People around here don't tip cows like they did back home. Meaghan and I used to tip a cow every afternoon on the way home from school, just to listen to it moo. I suppose this is more of chicken-farmer town, but what fun can you have with chickens?
p.s. you're correct that this post isn't about anything. very observant. i suspect i may be starved for entertainment, which is entirely my own fault. but i'm just warning you folks, you may have to organize an intervention soon. otherwise, you're going to be reading a lot more nonsensical tripe like this and last week's post from now on.
p.s.s. the title isn't about anything either.
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12 comments:
I always thought that pointing out I was rambling would protect me from anyone commenting about it. Never seemed to work.
I am offended that you questioned the entertainment value of chickens though. I'm not really sure what you can do with them besides eat them, but I feel like taking offense, so I will.
Hand held solitaire is so much better for poopy-time entertainment than hand-held poker. Unless you disagree, of course, in which case I retract my claim.
Yes, me whoring myself out to Ryan and the loser crowd he played poker with is definitely believable! HA! We DO need some entertainment and more friends that live closer! Just a few weeks until our cabin getaway - where all the card playing and whoring can go on all day long! By the way, who all is in for that?
Meaghan: I'm sending out an e-mail soon with the details, but here's who's in: Me, you, Chris, Mickey, and Severo, and we have strong maybes from Ryan, Jacob & Kim.
Chris: I would comment on this post, but I'm still too busy laughing at those people playing video games on the toilet.
The toilet gamer photo is pretty funny.
I also got a good laugh (in a mildly disturbing way) at the boy scouts playing strip poker.
Meaghan- I wasn't really looking forward to the cabin weekend, but since you put it that way! I could skip the card-playing, though.(actually, I am looking forward to it, even without the whoring)
But this is about Chris. Dude, this was almost like your first regular post. No agenda, no focus, no form. It was great! You could probably do this everyday if you wanted, and wouldn't that be fun?
By the by, I prefer a good ol' magazine on the can. I actually new a guy once who was so in need of reading material for his morning business in a campground that he took his truck's owner's manual in with him.
I'll stick to my National Geographic on the toilet, but spending too much time reading always makes my feet go to sleep.
Yes, next time talk about something important. Like, jJust how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Very entertaining.
I do also enjoy reading on the can. Or working the Sudoku for dummies that they publish in the local newspaper. (It's a challenge for me, but I've been told that Sudoku gurus find it absurdly easy.)
Nicole, while I am ordinarily a fairly patient person, I always bite into a candy- or gum-filled lollipop long before I can manage to lick my way in.
So for your statistics, it's about 10 licks, three or four minutes of sucking and then a lot of crunching.
Did that sound dirty?
Ahh, I love these little facts I find out about my friends. Were it not for the blogosphere, I may have no idea what you people like to do on the toilet besides the obvious.
For the record, I do not like to read in there. Ruins my concentration.
Why does it take so long for men to use the toilet? I mean, I don't really have time for reading. I just get my business done and get out of there. Now you know way too much...
Prostates, Meaghan, Prostates.
I've never been cow tipping ... But it's never too late to start right?
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