The voices in my head have become louder lately. Or other things around me have gotten quieter.
Either way, the point is I have become more aware recently of the personalities that embody my conscience. What I mean is: the people who cross my mind when I'm taking some action or making some decision of which they would or would not be proud.
For example, Mickey is my latest environmental conscience. Both in his blog and in person, he often preaches the gospel of environmental responsibility, whether it be through using less gasoline to reduce emissions or fighting the waste of bottled water.
So now, when I do or don't recycle something, or I do or don't use those anti-Earth plastic bags at the grocery store checkout, I briefly imagine Mickey's approval or disapproval. I actually confessed this to him over the weekend. May he not abuse this power.
But, lest he suffer an enlarged ego, I'll tell you that Mickey is not the only voice in my head. In fact, he's not even the only environmental conscience up there.
I'm still occasionally haunted by an incident during my freshman year of college, in which I was emptying out a semester's worth of class notes into a trash can. An upperclassman in the room with me glared up from the paper he was studying to chide, "Do you have something against recycling?" I murmured something about there being multi-colored paper in my notebook and the recycling box calling for white paper only. But he won, and I recycled it anyway. (I don't recall whether I sorted out the colored paper or just disregarded the label on the recycling bin.)
The internal prodding of other people's expectations extends beyond environmental responsibility. I'm sure I've mentioned before that my dad is a Baptist minister, and so he remains the voice in my head related to minor issues of morality -- e.g. profanity, lewd TV shows and movies, etc. Actually, he's more like a look of disapproval in my head than a voice; that's more his style.
Luckily, he's always been a reasonable guy and not too prudish, so I don't have to feel guilty every time I watch Family Guy. (Hi Dad. I love you. You're not supposed to be reading my blog :) )
There are other voices, I'm sure, but these are my major ones. I suppose Meaghan could be one in some cases; for example if I wash the dishes because I don't want her to get mad about having to do them all the time. That's kind of different, though, because hers would be an actual voice in my ear in that case, not an imagined one in my mind. Plus, I generally just do the dishes and other household tasks because I want my house to be clean almost as much as she wants it. (Seriously, she's not a nag and I try not to give her any reason to be.)
I hope all of this doesn't mean I'm too easily influenced by the people around me -- or at least that I'm only influenced by positive messages with which I'm already inclined to agree. As of yet, there are no voices in my head advocating violence, anarchy, drug abuse and the like (well, maybe a little anarchy). I hope to keep it that way.
So 'fess up readers, who are the voices of your conscience and what do they tell you to do (or not do)?
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8 comments:
The claim that we shouldn't be influenced by others is total bullshit. The goal should be to have enough good judgment to know who to allow yourself to be influenced by and who to ignore. Every thought and decision a person makes comes from their hodgepodge of external influences. If you did nothing but listen to your own urges all men would be gluttonous, selfish rapists. The only thing that comes from within is self preservation. Everything else came from peer and parental pressure.
You were just man enough to own up to it. All those "individualists" out there are just total posers.
1. Jacob has a point.
2. Also, I think Mickey's voice makes a presence in the heads of everyone he knows. It's just influential that way, I guess.
3. I really hope I don't nag you. If fact, I really feel like I'm more likely to do something myself than ask you to do it. So I think some of my voice in your head is your imagination :)
4. The voices in my head include you and Mickey with environmental issues, Sadie (even though she doesn't have a voice - except for the one I made up for her) saying it's time to take a walk or spend time with her, my mom when I see clothing that's too expensive and my dad when I'm cooking.
Happy Earth Day, Chris.
I think we're all almost completely amalgamations of every person we've ever met, to differing degrees. As I get older, I am increasingly aware of the ways in which I am just like my father, my mother, my brother, Courtney, and probably even you. Basically, every person I've ever spent more than a couple minutes around is in my head. These aren't voices, exactly, but they all affect my decisions and opinions.
That said, I also think there's got to be a small part in each of us that is totally original and independent. I hope.
The only voice I normally hear is my own, usually telling me I'm an asshole.
Check that: Every time I write a cliche, I hear your disapproving voice. Thanks.
I agree with Jacob. The goal is to surround yourself with people who have qualities you would like to have because they will shame (I mean gently encourage) you to follow suit.
Also, I think that many of the voices in my head are there because it's something I want, but I put a familiar face to it.
Good points, all.
I neglected to mention my own voice, as Mickey did for himself. Mine routinely tells me I'm not accomplishing enough. I'm slowly learning to tell it that it can kiss my snowy-white hindquarters.
Funny about the cliches, Mickey. I think they don't both me so much when other people use them, just when I catch myself writing them. That is, of course, unless they're really obnoxious ones like "chic" or worse yet "shabby chic".
I'll be sure to include the phrase "shabby chic" in an upcoming post. But I'll probably forget.
I love Nutella.
That's all.
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