But I haven't. I have been pitifully unproductive at both work and play, on my weekdays at least, yet I have not managed to write a post on this blog in a full three weeks.
To be clear, I have not written a post on any blog in three weeks, in case you were wondering. And the fact I have nothing to write about is exactly what I came here to write about today. So it's good to know that most of my regular readers do have other ways to waste time on the Internet, because I have been providing precious little fodder.
May I suggest some ways to extend the pleasure and time-wasting capacity of this blog even when its author runs into frequent non-writing ruts:
-Start a vicious comment war on the latest post. I mean, not with me, because I'm a passive personality and only know how to defuse hostile situations. The war would not rage on very long if I were your chosen enemy. In that same spirit, I'll decline to suggest any particular enemy combatants, but let's just say Jacob spends an awful lot of time on the Internet. Also, Mickey is never afraid to speak his mind, although his comments are generally short and to the point. Just depends on what style of war you want to wage, really.
-Go back and re-read previous posts. For fun, you should randomly hop back to November or March or something. And don't just breeze through it. Read a paragraph at a time. Take bathroom breaks and water breaks in between. Because reading makes you thirsty, and drinking water makes you piss. Roll the words around in your head until you derive far more meaning from them than was ever intended.
-Hack into my blog and write a post for me. Seriously, that would be pretty awesome. If I liked it enough, I'd just leave it there forever. But don't get smart, because if you just tried to make me look like a racist or something, then I would delete the post and you'd have nothing to show for it.
Go on, then. Amuse yourselves.
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8 comments:
If I wanted to write a blog, I'd have my own. You're going to be a dad soon, Chris. It's time you learn responsibility.
OhhOhh Meaghan...do it! Hack into Chris' blog and write something crazzzzy!
I've long since given up on making your blog my primary source of Internet entertainment. Perhaps if you posted more often you'd move up in the rankings, but you've got to earn it.
Everyone would know if I hacked into your blog b/c it would sound like you were bragging about yourself through the whole post!
Chris, I think we both think that we don't have anything quite so interesting to write about, but really, we're just not looking deep enough...
If I could hack into your blog, I'd change the password and take the whole thing over indefinitely. Duh.
Seriously, Meaghan, I think the world of Kim and Evan, and yet I find it infinitely easy to insult them. You don't think you could pretend just once for our sakes? When you are insincerely mean for entertainment purposes, it's called creativity, and doesn't your job require creativity?
Besides, I seem to get the feeling Chris could take a joke, and you've chided us in the past for being too sweet to the guy. Rip him a new cloaca.
Chris: It's unfair to single me out for my heavy internet usage the day before I spend four days without feeling the sweet caress of a computer keyboard or the perfumed breath of the motherboard fan.
Jacob, it's just so much easier to be mean to you! But yeah, I could crack a few jokes on his behalf...
It's a good point you raise, Mickey. Clearly I had underestimated your deviance.
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