A businessman told me last week, as I interviewed him about possibly buying competing businesses to grow his company: "Getting bigger isn't all it's cracked up to be."
In his line of business, combining two medium to large companies would not create a lot of "synergies" or economies of scale, he said. The whole process would likely not be worth the trouble. Nevertheless, his company has bought competitors in the past.
Funny how ambition can tempt us to pursue things that in our logical mind we strongly suspect to be unwise. It's true for businesses that spend all the money they have plus as much as a bank will lend them to expand, expand, expand, as if a rainy day will never come or the trendiness of their crazily overpriced coffee will never fade. It's true for cheating spouses who want to prove to themselves they are still sexually marketable to the general public, or at least some tiny fraction of it.
It's true for young writers who have a good-paying job with ample benefits and flexibility of schedule -- not to mention a loving wife, nice home and an all-around happy, hearty lifestyle -- yet struggle to commit wholeheartedly and with full mental attention to all of the above because of the constant distraction of dreaming of some more meaningful or fulfilling or broadly-impacting life's work.
Stupid young writers, whoever they may be.
Well, I have sworn off ambition more than once (albeit never on the Internet, I don't think), and I am here again today to repeat said swearing off. I swear: no more ambition for me.
Life is good, and I really ought to consider the possibility that I'm having all the impact and fulfilling all the purposes that I am meant to right here and now --- or, more likely, that all of those opportunities are right here in front of me if only I would pay attention to them instead of living a constant daydream about some bigger, more important occupation for which I must keep constant vigil.
I'm not making my point well, I'm afraid. This is really better-suited to a diary entry than a blog. But, this is the closest thing to a diary that I keep. (Imagine how infrequently I would write in an actual diary, if I had one.)
I think my message here (to myself, primarily, so sorry if I've lost everyone else) is that I can and should devote my life to savoring and doing my best with the people and tasks in front of me right now -- and not feel like that will amount to a selfish kind of life, because I haven't done some great project to change the world or impact thousands of people, as I'm afraid my subconscious is prone to think.
Mother Teresa made the point much better and more concisely than I. During her acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, when asked what people could do to promote world peace, she responded, "Go home and love your family."
Sorry for such a squishy return to my blog. I'll try to serve up some of my usual mindless entertainment real soon-like.
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7 comments:
I share your conflict but know that I'll always be frustrated by reality if I take on a job that will allow me to at least say I got paid to make the world a better place. Honestly, I'd now just like a job I didn't hate an left me with time for family, friends and travel. Filling out paperwork is fine as long as I don't have to work overtime and have good vacation and benefits. Screw making the world a better place. I'm outnumbered and I'm willing to settle for just not making it a worse place.
I wonder if part of it is our consumer mindset - always thinking there is something better, more stylish, etc out there, but then again ambition can be such a great thing. I hope you strike the right balance, Chris.
Great post. Finding a balance between your dreams and your reality is a tough thing, one that we probably all struggle with.
But as for foregoing ambition (even though I'm assuming you were kidding -- or were you?), allow me to present a counter-argument: There are not too many people in the world who are smart and good-hearted, and as one of them, don't you feel a responsibility to be ambitious? I know I do. That's not to say you should drop everything and go be a UN Goodwill Ambassador or anything, but don't be like Jacob and just give up. I think it's possible to be happy with what you have and still want more.
Or maybe that's just me. Damn it, I'm such a malcontent.
I think you're confused.
Ambition is not a bad thing and I think Meaghan would like for you to strive to do better and be better.
You seem to think that having ambition and being thankful for what you have are mutually exclusive.
Yeah, you know I'd be right beside you if you quit your job to do something your heart truly desires. I may have to get a second job flipping burgers but I'd do it for you, baby!
But I think Nicole's right: it's about finding the right balance.
Well, as I said in the post, I probably haven't explained myself very clearly. And I'm still not sure I can put in words what I mean to say.
I think maybe "restlessness" is more precisely the concept I should be attacking rather than ambition.
My goal here was to remind myself to keep my priorities on the important things and people in my daily life, rather than getting distracted by constant daydreaming about supposedly bigger and more important activities that I should be doing.
To some extent I am also probably being insincere to imply that making a positive impact on the world is the key driver of my restlessness. Truth be told, I would probably feel just as fulfilled (or perhaps just as unfulfilled) by a merely more enjoyable or interesting occupation as I would by something of greater social impact.
Yes, I'm sure that clears it up nicely.
Really, posting that Mother Teresa quote above my desk would probably be the most effective way to drive home the lesson for myself.
But I'm glad to have started a dialogue, nevertheless.
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